Hi! I’m Anne-Marie…
I’ve had some cosmetic work done (details over here) and I’ve always been open about it. People are endlessly curious and I find myself being asked and answering the questions over and over. I also research anything I get done as thoroughly as only a mid-life-diagnosed autistic woman can. So I thought I’d put the answers here.
There’s more, though
My most recent surgical procedure was an eyelid lift. When I first decided, in a mid-lockdown fug, that this might be something to look into, I was shocked at the total takeover of Google results by cosmetic/aesthetic surgeons, who are each trying to woo you in the pursuit of their own agenda: making pots of cash.
The resources that I’d used 10+ years ago have either disappeared or are languishing on the 29th page of a Google Search result, unable to compete with marketing campaigns and ad spends from the surgery providers and there just aren’t enough users to make an informed community.
I’ve noodled with this idea for a couple of years, but was always daunted by the prospect of building a website that could support a community, then realised that Substack would give me the space to play with the concept without the responsibility of learning how to code.
What this site is
I want this to be a space in which we can take about what we’ve had done, what we might want to have done, to learn from one another, remind one another that we’re already fabulous and acknowledge that, whilst effective cosmetic work can heal a lot of old wounds, it can’t replace the deep inner work required to actually feel great when we look in the mirror. My approach to cosmetic work is best summed up by my 6 Rules of Cosmetic Work.
Many women are in a lifelong, often volatile, journey to accept - and hopefully love - the way that they look. I’d like Not Born With It to help along the way.
What this isn’t
An advice clinic about what work I think you should have done/by whom
I genuinely won’t have an opinion on this. I will, however, have very strong opinions about anything that is in contravention of The Rules.
A place to speculate about what work other people have had done
It drives me as mad as the next person when a celeb has visibly and indisputably altered their face, but says “No, I’ve not had any work done, I just get 8 hours of sleep a night and eat a lot of quinoa. And my Great-Aunt Mildred always rubbed lard into her temples, so I do that.” I get mad cubed if that person also models for skincare or lifestyle products, their perfectly smooth face beaming out at me beatifically as they sip on a charcoal-activated matcha.
HOWEVER, there are already hundreds of sites that attempt to hold celebrities to account for this. My aim here is to create a safe space for people to feel that they can talk openly about cosmetic work, without getting torn apart in the court of public opinion, rather than ‘outing’ someone for their suspected brow lift.
A community that you have to have had, or be interested in having, cosmetic work done to be a part of. But if you join in, please be honest about any work you have had done.
An invitation for you to give me your unsolicited opinion about my face or body.
I’m good, I hope you are too.
A podcast is also imminent - please drop me a line if you’d like to talk to me about how you feel about the way you look. As above, you don’t need to have had any cosmetic procedures done for me to be interested in speaking to you.